In case you were blind, dumb, deaf or all of the above...

There's going to be a big event coming soon. Like really soon. Like next-week-soon-kind-of-soon. And just for the rare possibility that people visit this blog before our website, that is, not directed to here from there, then I find it my onus to inform you that,

There's going to be a big event coming soon.

Oh wait I've already said that, haven't I?

Here's a poster, ostensibly stolen from Jiahui. Give kudos to her, because she's a shameless attention-seeking whore. Go Jiahui!



Incidentally, has anyone seen the logo, as featured in the poster, of APUC?



To make this blog have more value than it's worth, so as to somewhat justify you, the imaginary reader's time, I shall state the history of how APUC, or Asia-Pacific Unicycle Convention came about.

The History textbooks said so...

Originally conceived as something rather unpronounceable, APAHC, or in its correct caps form, APacHC (to pronounce 'cHC', you sound like you're choking and go 'k-huhk!!') standing for Asia-Pacific Unicycle Hockey Convention, which means APacHC is a misnomer because it should have been APacUHC, making it even more unpronounceable (I didn't think up of this name! I extricate myself of blame!), was initially just a vague idea formed up in the back of people's heads after the previous years of the Sino-Hong Kong Unicycling exchange, which thankfully didn't bear any horrendous, unpronounceable abbreviations.

Ah yes, an aside, one thing that very defines Singaporeans are their morbid fascinations with abbreviations and acronyms and acrostics. NUS, PIE, AYE, MOE whatever.

So, slowly but surely with minute nudges, plans were made for APacHC to existentialize, but with must of the flurry and concrete action taking place just months prior to the event, maybe say 5 or so? Teams to be invited, venue, sponsors, Milo vans, the whole works. Fleeting rumors of Oakley sponsors and that the President of the United States will preside were rampant. Sort of. Ok the latter would have been spread by me but you get the idea. Rumors.

Then, suddenly, POOF! It became from a possibility to a reality that was to happen, though the date had yet to be fixed. Eventually it was set to 3rd November 2007, a regrettable date because I'm not able to make it, but that's just personal. Of course it's a great day as any to hold the APacHC.

And the rest were subliminal histories not really worth mentioning.

About a month or so, some complains and a few throat cancers at being unable to pronounce the name of the event, had the Singapore Unicyclists rethink the name of APac(U)HC, which also looks aesthetically unpleasing because of its part-alternate-caps, making it look like some primary school kid tYpiNg LykE tHIs. And after much procrastination and no-suggestions, its name magically got changed to APUC, mysteriously. Maybe the wizards did it. His name should have been Maxim, if my memory serve me right. I can't be bothered to check the boards for cross-reference.

So APac(U)HC is now APUC, doesn't sound very nice either but at least it's pronounceable. Jiahui pronounces it as "A-puck". As in "This is a puck,". Some dissidents pronounces it "AH-Pook". The anal would call it "Ay-Pee-You-See". The mute cannot pronounce it.

So, attend this event, because it's the first of its kind, in South-East Asia, and in lurrvely Singapore. Bring you camera, kids, dogs, whatever, batteries not included. There will be a Tae-kwon-do demonstration by the Korean unicycling team! Though whether they do it on unicycles I have absolutely no idea.

OMGWTFBBQNUSPIE!

Seriously dredging through old files I can't believe I once made something like...

THIS



Am I appalled? Not as much as I am humored. But for people who've never seen them, and wonder who they are on this poster (was done around the time the similar move was released), they are, and can be found/described/researched/stalked further on our web, from left to right,

Siyodayong - Siyong

Um. Because he's short and green?

PRINCESS Kee - Kee

I think why so was because of some long-lost vested history between him and a long-forgotten sith.

Joseph Skywalker - Joseph

No particular reason why. Maybe just that his face was in the correct angle and hence easiest to superimpose. I am lazy.

Someone wise(???) - Kailun

I must admit, I am not a Star Wars fan. So I don't know who the original character was. Probably someone wise. Which must mean this was a miscast character.

Orange Light-hockeystick wielder - Jasmine

Because she's Alice's sister and my cousin.

All-consuming evil black guy sith - Sid

Because black is the new black. It's not just a color; it's BLACK.


I <3 Photoshop.

Yes we know we have a new site.

This post is redundant, really. Because nobody ever comes here. Nor update. You can call me Mr. Nobody.

But, you know our 'recent' (with the previous recent being in the Cretaceous age) posts showing up on the sparkling new website, it'll be a shame not to post one.

Seriously. Just ignore this post and go ahead to the new website (It's under the links. Duh.). If you need me (doubt it), I'll be just there crying in the corner, ok?

Does this mean... the blog will live again??

Nah. In all probability, probably not.

But probability has a nasty habit of being wrong. No promises, but something might happen. Might.

It might involve a certain Remi, but I'm not naming names.

Mario Kart!

We interupt your regular program of unicycle hockey to bring you this special one off broadcast.

We are gathered here today to witness the grudge match between Jia "Mop water connesiour" Hui and Kee.

It ended up with Kee winning. That concludes out broadcast. Now we move on to the highlights.

Kee leading a race only to get hit by a turtle shell just before the finishing line and letting JiaHui steal the race.

Kee getting knocked off the track by Donkey Kong not once, not twice but 4 bloody times .

JiaHui leading the podium standings till the last game, when Kee came from behind to win. They then both got bored.

In other news, not related to Mario Kart, 4 people who stayed in the East side almost commited the fatal mistake of having teh bing at Clementi before realising their mistake and going to Bedok to have it.

Also, JiaHui has admitted to being a mop water drinker, able to taste the minute differences between iced dessert and detol filled mop water.

We are the champions...again!

"We are the champions, again....
We'll keep on winning, till the end...
We are the champions, we are the champions,
Nanny nanny poo poo, cause we are the champions...
Of The World(tm)!

(Sing to the tune of.. I dunno, 'We are the champions'?)

Yes indeed it is a good day to be an Orange member as the spectacular wins simply is mind-boggling. The game ended at a total of 14:4 in favor of Orange, and quite alot of credit should be given to Jojo who makes a guest appearance and playing, appropriately, for Orange.

Today's game was fierce and the ante was upped considerably as both The World(tm) and Orange played fiercer but most perceptibly was The World(tm)'s visible and significant increase in teamwork when faced with the impeccable strength of Orange. In the first half, a percentage of Orange goals were scored by Jojo's tight angle shot from the left to which, to one's amusement, happened not once but 2 or 3 times consecutively. One'd have expect The World(tm) to at least cover up that blaring loophole but in psyche for the offense, their defense had a few loopholes in it.

And, Jolyon scored 2 goals!!!!.

"For he's a Jolyon good fella,
for he's a Jolyon good fella,
for he's a Jolyon good fella....
And he scored two goals, tonight!"

(Sing to 'For he's a jolly good fella')

The first half ended at a score of 10:2, and Joseph was put out of the game due to a spectacular crash from an anonymous foul. I think Siyong replaced Joseph, and the offense of The World(tm) increased perceptibly as The World(tm) attacked in tripartite, with Kai Lun in the middle, Kee on the left flank and Siyong everywhere.

Remi and Huifang joined in the second half, bolstering the defenses of Orange somewhat and Remi joined the fray by taking a mid-field/defender stance, occasionally going on the offense and scoring a goal in the second half!

Commendable was the multiple saves by The World(tm) from Orange's numerous attacks (on the last count, 15 attempts in the first half). That means a 33.3333333..% save ratio!

Er, is that good?

In Rain, or Shine, or... Haze?

Who cares about the haze? We don't need no health, like we need no shins nor guards. We'll be playing uni-hockey till we're blue in the face, choking from the PSI 150 high sky (it rhymes).

But it will be pleasing to know that Team Tiger Beer (TTB) is conspicuously missing from today's action, as only a solitary figure garbed in the TTB gear appears. The World (tm) returns in full force (sort of) and one of the fiercest stick-wield and tongue lashing you've ever seen take place on the court today.

It was Siyong, Kee, Jeff, Kailun, Emannuel, and Marvyn on The World team against moi, Jolyon, Remi, Huifang and Jiahui and eventually Geoffrey on Orange, eventhough technically Geoffrey wasn't wearing orange.

And rumors abound speak of sightings of a certain Alex, donning Orange, but such fleet sightings are unable to be confirmed and whether did he really exist that night or was it just a phantasm remains an unknown. Experts coin this case a case of an Unidentified Fleeting Orange (UFO).

Despites the admonitions of health officials discouraging vigorous activity amidst this haze, the unicyclists gave da finga and went ahead anyway (officials go 'tut tut'). If vigorous activity were to be stopped just for the presence of the haze, then sex should be halted too for the health of the public.

Anyway, the match was insane. The final score was 2:2 and a third goal by Siyong which was dodgy and should be nulled because of the sudden appearance of a basketball in the court which distracted all Orange members and Siyong scored because of that. Do we hear a unanimous cry of no-goal? I think so too.

Highlights include:

Geoffrey almost scoring, Jolyon almost scoring, alot of The World (tm) almost scoring but they never do and a few spectacular crashes here and there. Yours truly was the victim of 2 The World (tm) members closing in from both flanks and they did a mach truck and squashed the victim in between.

The World (tm) uses an 'arrowhead' formation, with someone leading in the center and then passing to someone on either side of the court, where then later assistance can be gained from the corner to an assisted shot. Tricky, they are but it could have been stopped easily if Orange members were just a little more vigilant and talked a whole lot less.

Geoffrey did manage to touch the ball alot more often today. It's probably the result of being pushed into the front lines, where casualty rates are highest.

And, in other news,

Geoffrey steals

SP's desk

drawer!!

That's right, Geoffrey, the one and the very same Geoffrey mentioned many times above stole a drawer from a desk in the library for his own solicitous purpose, highly of which are suspiciously commercial. This means he's stealing school property to probably earn money outside.

HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF SHAME?

(yadda yadda for 2 hours)

...and, for those who did not attend today's session, Jiahui TREATED everyone to Milo Bing AND popiah. Hahaha. Sucks to be you.

Reorganization.

Following the brouhaha that was the influx of Team Tiger Beer (henceforth now referred to as TTB), Orange members realized their folly, and Orange regroups, stronger in camaraderie than ever. TTB still exists, though, swallowing up whatever was left of The World (tm) and oh. my. god. It's an unholy alliance with TTB and The World(tm)!

The game started on a small note. Literally. With 12 players squeezed into just 1 court, one could hardly fart without stinking up all other 11 players.

I'll cut to the chase: TTB won (bah) overall 5:3. Orange was in shambles as they tried to recuperate from the shock that was the combined forces that was TTB and The World(tm). So much so was the shock that eventually, demoralization set in and Orange members deserted ranks, leaving a grand total of 3 Orange members against 7 TTB members, of which the 3 held their guard pretty well.

It was a good day for international rivalry to run high, as someone from TTB hit Huifang, French property, with a sinister inter-continental ball(istic) missle [ICBM]. Jacques Chirac refuses to comment, and Remi Fontan commented darkly that "Something will be done" (in French, of course) but ironically, Remi accidentally scored an own goal.

As with the expansionary powers people, the court tripled it size eventually, leaving more breathing space. Marvyn, a newcomer, hoodwinked into the ranks of TTB, saved a few balls, much to the delight of TTB and the ire of Orange. Beginners' luck should be banned in games, bah.

However, as with all new alliances, the inductive stage is still in transition, and some fluidity appears to be lacking, as the 'mo qi' or team spirit weren't as cognitive as was when it was just The World (tm).

TTB looks like it's here to stay. Say no! to alcohol! Abstain!

Daarn, nobody ever blogs here.

I shall type an entry that nobody will see!

Team Tiger beer conspires to take over Orange AND The World(tm)

In the recent spate of events, a new force to be reckoned has swept the Singapore Unicyclists into disarray. The stalward teams of Orange and The World face a new crisis, what with rising oil prices and the PAP, that verily threaten their existence and survival.

As they say, that is very, very bad.

It's almost like one's nice, ol' period dramas, where long feuding sects suddenly are threatened the uprising of a new nemesis; a common one. Henceforth they team up and verily, defeat the nemesis, whereupon they live happily ever after and return to feuding with each other.

And the traditional groups of Orange and The World (tm) are challanged by the unprecedented presence of Team Tiger Beer. The blazons of bold Orange (snide mockery, quite akin to 'THE Finger' to team Orange) and otherworldly colors (likewise said 'finger' to The World (tm) ) splashed on their chests serve to act as a direct challenge to BOTH team Orange and The World (tm), as sneakily and subtly, a silent takeover of team members from both traditional teams commence. Long standing Orange stalward, Kailun, acclaimed The World (tm) sentinel, Kee and even Alice of Orange fame have readily succumbed to the alcoholic vapors of Team Tiger Beer.

What is to become of Orange and The World(tm)?

With armed-to-the-teeth (so primary school cliché) Team Tiger Beer, comprising of Alice, Kailun, Kee, Geoffrey (although not garbed in Tiger Beer shirt) and later, an Emmanuel, hoodwinked into believing Team Tiger Beer's potential formed Team Tiger Beer. The other team, yet unnamed but comprised of the remnants and staunch believers of Orange and The World(tm), were me (ack self-reference!), Darren, Siyong, Jas, Jiahui and later, Jonathan and someone who's name isn't known. Oh, Andrew was on Team Tiger Beer too.

Could it be that, quoting the brewery verbatim, 'It's Tiger time'. Will the demise of establishments be due?

But alas! In the tradition of period dramas and all things right, the might of the fledglings are no match against the old gingers (insert random clichéd chinese proverb).

Or simply put, in the words of Jiahui, Je suis Kickass!

The final score was... Team Kickass won. By a very big margin. That's all you have to know, really.

Oh that and Geoffrey fouled Siyong spectacularly, when he flew through the air, barrel-rolled and rolled on the floor like 4 times not before cartwheeling and somersaulting.

Is that a blatant attempt of Team Tiger Beer to maim all existing traditional team members or what?

6:4 win by...by darn there's no team name! And we get t-shirts!

Those playing alongside me won a 6:4, mind-numbingly won over for we were losing by about 4:2 in the first half.

Henceforth I shall refer to the teams as 'our team' and 'their team', for the want of a better name.

Our team was faring REALLY BADLY, as kailun let slip in 2 goals while doing something else. that was really scary, as just as we thought we would be granted sanctuary for a while for having just scored, zip-zip-zip their team scored really soon. The pressure was really intense as our team struggled to keep pace and not lag behind too much.

The first half ended with a 4:3, which wasn't too bad.

Having posted this reallly late, any probable details would have been wiped out from my head already.

But I do know the score, it's 6:4! Which, by sheer logic and simple math, means that our team scored an additional 3 goals, which is quite commendable.

And we got t-shirts! Jiahui, being lazy and quite forgot to take our sizes and promptly ordered L for all the guys, and S for the ladies. While the ladies size probably fit, L is quite too large for some people! Even L is quite large for me, but it's still wearable. It comes down to about foot above my knees, probably making a really short dress for me if I ever decide to cross-dress one day. But what would it be like on Gideon? Wouldn't it be like a gown for him? I wonder.

But they're good t-shirts, really.

Blue is the new Orange!

Introducing the latest Autumn fashions, as the otherwordly hue of Orange has been abandoned in favor of soothing blue. This move has been confirmed by fashion critics on the 26th of July as worldly events has seen a general phenomenon to move from acclaimed colors to new frontiers.

Just as the Orange team became blue.

But why blue as opposed to red, the other color taken by what was once The World(tm) team?

Simple: The win of 7:0 confirms the posterity of le bleus. Blue is the official color of the Frenchies. Blues are a popular genre of music. You get monday blues, never reds. Blue is muy cooler.

Although the colors were switched in the halves, the power of blue vested in its original conspirators cannot be denied. The first half yielded a score of 5:0 in favor of the blues. The second half a 2:0.

Yours truly has temporary amnesia. He cannot remember the exact number and names of the teammates in each team, for there were about 8 or more per team. But we bring you the highlights:

Andrew scored a goal!!! This bodes well for him, and prospects look good.

There were way too many people on the court.

Everyone tried out a 'keeper-rotation' technique, improving the game in general.

Wen almost scored.

Jeff suddenly appeared, scaring everyone (ok maybe it's just me) and upped the ante of the game.

There were a few good shots by the Reds, especially the one which ricocheted off the posts, but still didn't get in.

Alex, after a failed shot, appeared to be possessed by shouting something undeceipherable. The 7th month, maybe?

Siyong was conspicuously missing.

I can't remember how the Blues got 5:0 in the first half, though.

Must have been magic.

The Reds, in the first half, did put up good fight. They had a total of 5 attempts at shooting. (Strange how I remember this)


And that is why you should wear blue! Bleu! Azul! Blu! Blau!

We interrupt your program to bring you breaking news...

We interrupt your program to bring you breaking news on the updates of the financial world of epic proportions. This is BUNT you're watching, Breaking Unicycling News Tonight and I'm Awe Range, your anchor for tonight.

There has been a change in company Orange fortunes as a spate of events have cost them to lose consecutive previous games, causing stock prices to plunge horrendously. Investor confidence has dipped and already people are selling Orange stocks in favor of the World (tm) stocks. The World (tm) stocks have been hot favorites as they rise, owing to the imports of new rising stars such as Yihao and the such.

We now have financial analyst, Wurl T. Em to update us on the latest changes in the financial world of unicycling. Wurl, please.



Thank you Awe. I'm Wurl, and I shall give a brief outline of Orange's previous performance in the past.

As you can see on this spreadsheet, the Orange company, a mega-conglomerate investing in a wide variety of products such as a unicycling team, tropical citrus fruit produce, citric fruit juices and the entire county of Florida, has been on a roll about 4 weeks prior. Then, a sudden dip in their fortunes caused their stock prices to dip and fall faster than any firm has done before. Even before Orange got listed, they were only a mere piddling firm that was struggling to hold its stand against other firms, such as the World (tm) company, which has established itself longer than Orange. Orange has then since seen the fastest growth and now we see it experiencing the fastest dip. We interview an Orange spokesperson about why Orange is experiencing this unprecedented crisis.

"Um. We blame rising oil prices, we blame the war in Iraq. We blame the hole in the ozone layer and we blame global warming. Thank you."

Orange stock prices have dropped from a previous record high of SGD$73.20 to a whole new low of SGD$13.50, over the course of 3 weeks. However, Orange's luck is about to change. We cue to the stock exchange brokery and let us sadistically enjoy the torment of Orange's brokers for a while.



As you can see, they all look very worried and depressed. Poor things.



Orange's stock prices have just risen due to the current win of 4:2 over the World(tm), a rival team, in the 19/07/06 match. At first prospects seem rocky as Orange leads by a goal of 1:0 but the World(tm) quickly makes its presence felt by evening the scores. The first half ended at a score of 3:2, only a marginal win of 1 goal. However trading times still have about an hour or so and more changes await.

The second half proved fruitful for Orange as another goal puts more distance between them and their competitors. The slow but steady rise in investors confidence resulted in a holding of stocks of Orange instead of the previous panic selling of Orange stocks in favor of its competitors. Stock prices too slowly rose by SGD$1.20, a whole 0.4 percent growth for the Orange firm! This slow recovery is a good sign.

Trading ended at a score of 4:2 with Orange emerging victor and a whole new rise in its stock prices.

Analysts believe that the teamwork of Darren, Jolyon and Kailun and even Andrew has led Orange to pull through the crisis that they were facing, averting it and turning it into a windfall, albeit a small one, but hey, still one.

Let us cue once again to the previously worried brokers.



This bodes a good day for Orange brokers and investors as the news of the rise of Orange's stock prices is released.

And back to you, Awe.



Thank you Wurl. That sure was informative. However whether Orange can retain its progress remains to be seen.

And that concludes the end of our news bulletin. Thank you for watching BUNT. If we tell you it, you probably don't need to hear it.

-end-

Rising of new superstars

That practically summarise e uni-hockey session this time round
they have been ard for a long time, toiling for their teams while e spot-light is always on e old-birds who dont give chance.
Their day have come nontheless

Joseph, playing for orange, did a great job in midfield. Always a big force to reckon with, he is involved in most of orange's game play, setting up some goals and scoring a SUPERB long range effort from an impossible angle. i would have console myself that e man is trying to pass or cross or something and he jus got lucky.. but there wasnt really ANYONE he was trying to pick out, so that has got to be an intented shot.. rite Joseph ?

However, The World has their own answer to orange's rising star.. in e form of Yihao. much improved control and smart movement see yihao at e end of many passes. SO much that there were claims that he touched e ball MORE in this single game than e rest of his season put together. well, there were certainly help in e form of passing gurus kee and siyong.. BUT someone had to put e chances away rite ? there was no stopping The World's rising star, and yihao was more or less scoring for fun at e end of e day.. so MUCH so that i have no idea wat e end score was. but i reckon The World won e day

seems like its e new stars who gotta start giving chance to e ageing old birds..
(Did i get e spelling of ageing rite ?)

It's alright, you can breathe now.

On the previous episode, we last left The World(tm) with a possible chance of comeback, as a long-standing defeat closed into a draw. Today, the face-off intensifies as a film crew ups the ante a little, with both victory and pride on the line...WILL THE WORLD(TM) PREVAIL???

We'll be right back after theeeese messages!

The 27/6 game was charged with atmosphere and a tangible tension felt by everyone, tartly contributed by the presence a camera, camera people and a director. And once again by about 7 people a-side each team. But no! Today the scales are tipped a little as Orange's skill and perserverance is torqued to the point of break, as the final strength of The World(tm) amassed to 10, and 7 on Orange's side.

The final score is 6:2 in favor to Orange.

The above sentence is a spoiler. Oops.

But what about the going ons of the match? Once again, mysterious ninja-esque Kee is nowhere to be seen, probably watching from the edge of some building in the dark, dark night, with black cape billowing around his hooded face, assisting The World(tm) from afar with hitherto unknown ninjitsu powers.

The carnage was spectacular, the details fuzzy. In and out between periods of chaos and lucidity, here were some of the highlights:

Ben scored a goal from mid-court, in the first half, the moment they rode out from their half.

About 3 metres right of The World(tm) goal, a crash involving 5 people occured. That's nearly one team's strength.

Gideon was in The World(tm), although that's not a highlight.

Wen almost scored a goal. (See the potential one has in Orange, Gideon? -insert more blatant hinting-)

There were 10 World(tm) players. Very intimidating.

The World(tm) however had the most attempts at scoring. Almost everyone in the offense and mid-field took a shot at least once.

Andrew assisted a goal by The World(tm). Good work Andrew!!

The World(tm) has never played better. With about 4 people defending and 3 on offense, 1 for the rebound/support, they passed and faked very well, although their attempts were near misses.

The World(tm) in the first half alone took a total of 8 attempts.

The game was slightly less intense the second half, but neither side could get headway.

Lynette makes an appearance!

So did Alice.

I can't remember any more, or am too lazy to.

Oh just in case anyone forgot, the score was 6:2, Orange winning.

Q1a. Using appropriate examples, explain the process of the 21/6 uni-hockey session. [10]

The 21/6 hockey session occured with as much bravado and multitude in participants as wtih the 14/6 hockey session. With about 7 to 8 a side, friction was high. Friction is F=μR where F is frictional force, u the coefficient of sliding friction and R is the multitude of people, in situational context. Coefficient is determined by the amount of frictional points, where the higher the number of people, the higher the possibility of people colliding and causing frictional disputes. R, known to some as weight but in this context, as 'strength'.

The positioning of Gideon, who dons not orange but brown yet is on the Orange team can be explained by the simple intersection of the demand and supply curves of Gideon.



Seen above, the supply of Gideon is unitarily inelastic, which is to say, 1. Gideon positioning is determined by the demand of himself by the two teams, and factors which affect his positioning are not solely attributed to demand only, but also but his choice (wise move!). That is to say, if Gideon's choice for Orange falls, that would shift demand curve to the left and the intersection would result him in either limbo (0) or in The World(tm), which we all know don't want to happen.

The process of the 21/6 uni-hockey is unique. A long time ago, when dinosaurs still existed, The World(tm) garnered popularity with its immense strength and powers. The imbalance of victories led The World(tm) to a golden age. However in the recent months, The World(tm) has been on the wrong end of the landslide, and nary a victory has been awarded to them. However, the 21/6 uni-hockey appears to be a turning point, as they hit the trough of the victory cycle and seem almost to be hitting back.



At the earlier point of time, The World(tm) was at their peak with a win-lose ratio of 5:1. However, things took a sudden turn as they hit recession, defined as a prolonged period of losses or stagnation. Soon, they hit the trough as the win-lose ratio took a turn. On the 21/6 uni-hockey event however, they showed signs of picking up, and speculators predict a possible chance for recovery and pick up, after such a long protracted trough.

The 21/6 hockey session was a session of much pain and agony. After a long 10 minutes have passed, neither Orange nor The World(tm) gained an advantaged in terms of scores. While demand for Gideon was high to the effect of his being in Orange, he remains conspicuouly stuck in the defense area.

Meanwhile, while the fierce interaction between Orange and The World(tm) commence, Rémi decides to demonstrate the correct application of CG or center of gravity as he suddenly stands up on his fork. It may be a distraction to make The World(tm) people off their guards, but Jolyon and age huffily protests the lack of backup.

An itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow-and-white striped tennis ball whizzed happily by Huifang's unicycle, demonstrating the perfect relationship between transferance of kinetic energy from player to hockey stick to ball and into the goalpost, marked by the formula:

e= 1/2 mv squared.

The trajectory of the ball was in accordance of the projectile motion, and according to Newton's first law of motion an object (in this study, the tennis ball) will move in a straight line and constant speed in the absence of all forces and owing to gravity and the absence of vigil, the tennis ball exhibited Newton's second law of motion where the acceleration of the ball as produced by a net force is directly proportional to the magnitude of the net force, in the same direction as the net force, and inversely proportional to the mass of the ball or F=ma

In short, The World(tm) scored the first goal.

While The World(tm) celebrates and Siyong would have cartwheeled and somersaulted if he could, I'm sure, complete with pulling his shirt over his head, Orange players Huifang, Kailun and Rémi are taking it in their stride, as Kailun demonstrates the perfect one-foot wheelwalk.

Maxim, Kee, Darren and Siyong are gaining momentum, P=mv, as Yihao, Jiahui, Wen and PinPin (omg yes she came down! A rare sighting indeed! Beat THAT Halley Comet!) laid idle with little threat of Orange ever coming close. 2 20"s on offense really cannot match up to the behemoths of 24" and one 26" as revolutions per minute (rpm) would greatly differ in terms of circumference of the wheel and crank length. Moment would affect too as long-cranked 24"s outstrip the amount of acceleration possible on short-cranked 20"s.

Suddenly, someone from Orange scored! I don't remember who, but the shock of it was such that it only spurred The World(tm) to play harder and furioser. The score's 1:1, and finally the chit-chat has ended. It seems that gossips have run dry. Maybe Orange people run on gossips? But thankfully, Kailun has assumed the offense while Gideon happily resides in the defense. There is 5 more minutes, and Darren, Siyong and Kee attack all at once with Maxim on the rebound in the middle.

Then, chaos ensues as Yihao and Maxim join in the fray and everyone crashes in front of the goalpost while Kee and Siyong are still on. Kee scores a goal and Siyong dryly commented how he should do some cartwheels, preferably while with his shirt over his head.

Jolyon calls for a half time. Age compels him.

The philosophical explanation for age rejects the concept of time, but the explanation of which lies of another paper.

Yihao abuses Xiao Bai, by comitting Xiao Bai against the Orange, against Xiao Bai's wheel.

The second half was a pronounced stalemate for a full 15 minutes. It was only after that that Orange scored their first goal, as a squeezed in goal from an impossible angle evoked a controversial argument whether it went in, to which was closed by Andrew saying "It went in," and the case was closed.

So it was a draw, after so much playing and so much typing.


And in the distance, a discordant "Maiahee! Maiahuuu! Maiahoo! Maiaha!ha!" bleats.... the cacophany travelling at exactly 331.29 metres per second, which is the speed of sound. In air, I mean. In Helium (He) the speed of sound is 965 metres per second, and in Carbon Dioxide (CO2) it is considerably slower, being 259 metres per second. But since the court was filled with air, the music travelled the few metres between the speakers and the players at 331.29 mtres per second.

End.

This was written by an Arts student.

Can we gloat? We sure can!

Following the World Cup fever, with inane and endless soccer anecdotes thrown in randomly into the uni-hockey match, we find ourselves suddenly thronged by as much as 11-a-side per team (ok I lied, not that much, about 6 or 7 but it sure seemed that much). Today the fans cry unfair as one by one, Orange members were carted off the field for various reasons; be it for egotistic demonstrations (are you sure The World(tm) didn't hire those reporters??), or for no reasons whatsoever, or I can't remember what, but Orange did sure have a field day when eventually playing 3 against (gasp!) 7 of The World(tm) players.

Do the fans cry 'Unfair!' ?? They sure do, or should if they didn't.

Can Orange gloat? They sure can, after beating The World(tm) with their lack of numbers. See? It's not how many players you have, it's how well you play.

We interview Orange fans (unnamed, to protect identities) on the first half of the match.

O Fan1: The match was seriously cool. The import of new fresh blood, Gideon, by The World(tm) was a sneaky and underhanded move, because The World(tm) got to him even before Orange had a chance. Give the kid a chance to score man! Put him on the winning team! Put him on Orange!

O Fan2: Ha but numbers don't stop the mighty Oranges. Sneaky as The World(tm) may be, we've convinced Yihao and Joseph that The World(tm) is evillll and their inherent good guy genes shone through, and decided to fight for a worthy cause. See where that lead them to? Victory with a capital 'P'.

(insert blatant hint to newcomer Gideon)

O Fan1: The beginning of the match was quite breath-taking. One of the Orange members was put out of action because of a broken hub. The strange thing is, he has been known not to have been doing any jumping, hopping, mutilation of his unicycle of any kind, yet it was quite a shock when his hub broke.

O Fan2: Ya! Could The World(tm) have something to do with it?

(Meanwhile in the distance The World(tm) fans are sharpening their parangs and machettes.)

O Fan2: The broken hub led him in a desperate search for a replacement unicycle, but none were good enough or even sturdy enough.

O Fan2: Indeed, the 20" could not display his true speed and strength as his unicycle's seat was visibly rocking and loose (Rémi attests to this) and he soon had to give it up, and had to look for another unicycle as the 20" gave up on him.

O Fan1: And while he was distressed, Orange was stressed too. The score was 3-1 already. What will happen of our Orange? We pray fervently.

O Fan2: In the end, he borrowed Jiahui's unicycle, who decided to give up the saddle and try the ultimate wheel instead.

Commentator1: The match seems to be in The World(tm)'s favor so far. With only 4 members, and they all sure look tired, Ben, Joseph, Kailun and Yihao, the strategic positioning of the mass of The World(tm) members Maxim, Darren, Siyong, Jeff, Wen and Gideon and who else? Oh yes Kee, but due to his enigmatic ninjitsu powers (he probably Asked A Ninja) he disappeared before anyone even knew he was there after the match. What was I saying before? Oh yes, the strategic placement of the mass of The World(tm) players effectively prevented Ben and Kailun, lead strikers, from even getting near the goal. Not to mention strategist Maxim with his ever intimidating "Ooyahs!" and "Blearghhhh!@!!11!!" that shocks the Orange players off-guard (Orange fans go "booo!") the score of 3-1 is pretty disappointing for fervent Orange fans.

Commentator2: Right on there. Oh wait, look what's that? Previously out of action player returns! Just before, his hub broke and his used Siyong's unicycle, but to his dismay Siyong arrived and he had to relinquish the stolen good. Then the 20" was problematic and now he's on a unicycle, a 24"! That looks like Jiahui's!

Commentator1: So where is she? Ah she's by the corner with the ultimate wheel.

Commentator2: The match intensifies! The World(tm) has not 3 but 4 forwards! And still have plenty to spare as defenders as Jeff and Wen defend valiantly, but quite unecessarily as no Orange has gotten near yet. Gideon, promising new star, hangs ominously near the Orange goalpost in position for a goal. But what's this? Orange's manpower still remains at 4 as Kailun leaves the field to strike a few poses for the cameramen and reporters. Now where did they come from?

Commentator1: Dunno, dude, but the replacement of a tired out Orange mate with an enraged and quite insane Orange mate has brought morale to a whole new high! Ben is absolutely convinced that they are playing better!

Commentator2: The two work in tandem as they passed back and forth while digging deeper into enemy lines. Strategist Maxim realizes their ploy and seeks to break their formation.

Commentator2: Indeed, Kee falls back while Siyong remains midfield for the rebound, and Ben passes to for an assisted shot and OH!!! It's a slight miss, skimmed the post just by a little.

Commentator1: Orange is on a comeback. It's a goalkick, and the score's still 3-1.

(The reporter is lazy, the score is now 4-1 as a spectacular goal by The World(tm) draws the game to the last 10 minutes.)

Commentator1: At 4 versus 7, this doesn't look good for Orange's prospects. Broken-hub guy seems ready to faint, what with his incessant sprinting and passing to himself from one end of the court to the other. Already, with his arrival, 3 accidents have been noted, all involving him; 2 with Jeff and the last one I can't remember. A foul by Orange trips Kee and there he goes! The ball is passed, quite predicatably to Siyong but Siyong misses the catch!

Commentator2: Broken-hub-guy chases after the ball! The 24" seems to be feeding him vigor. He passes to Ben, predictably, and they're in the enemy's lines! Joseph joins in the fray! He passes to Joseph, Joseph shoots! He misses as it richochets off Jeff's wheel! Broken-hub-guy retrives the stray ball, goes behind the goalpost and shoots from a tight angle! It's a goal! Ladeez and gentlemen, the score's 4-2!

Commentator1: Another 8 minutes. Another 5 minutes. What's this? Joseph leaves the field? That makes Orange at only 3 players???? Against 7 of The World players?

Commentator2: They sure put up a good struggle though. Oh look there's the halftime.

Commentator1: It's halftime! Everyone's almost dead. Orange fans are going wild although still 2 goals behind The World(tm). The World(tm) fans are pleased with their lead.

(We skip to the 2nd half)

Commentator2: The calvary has arrived! Rémi and Huifang sont arrivés and this bolsters morale of Orange. Jiahui rejoins Orange after a frustrating session with the ultimate wheel and scary ramps. Huifang and Rémi make up the couple who stick and the goalposts and talk most of the time until the ball arrives. Kailun, having finished taking pictures with Xiao Bai, monstrous white unicycle joined the ranks of Ben and co.

(more laziness, the score now is 4 all).

Commentator2: The score is tied at 4 all. The World(tm) has made no progress so far since the previous half. Orange on the other hand has score 2 more goals, with the previous goal being a little shall we say, 'tyco' (translates to lucky)?

(Orange fans boo)

Commentator1: It was goodplay though. The ball went behind the goalpost and Jeff the goalkeeper happens to pull the goalpost into the direction that the shot ball was coming and it went in. Could he be mocking at the Orange and giving them a chance?

Commentator2: The World(tm) starts off with a 3-man offensive formation, and with Wen out of the play, a smart strategic move by Broken-hub-guy to have whisked off his unicycle, The World plays at a 1-2-3 formation, strong on offensive.

Commentator1: Orange on the other hand plays a balance spread of 2-2-2, with Ben and broken-hub-guy on offense, Kailun and Joseph on midfield/defense (Yihao's missing, I think, or at least someone is.) and Rémi and Huifang hanging onto the goalpost, having a nice chat. It's so nice to see lovers engrossed in conversation.

Commnetator2: The ball's in Orange's half! A scream for 'defense!' rings out. The defense springs into actions and (we fast forward the action a little, but that was neat passing by Siyong and Kee) .... it's a goal! It's 5-4 now!

Commentator1: Enraged, Ben goes in for the kill and sidestepping Maxim and Siyong, he shoots from afar and it went in! That was pretty fast! About a few minutes, don't you think?

Commentator2: Yes, this reminds me of the legendary goal that post-World player Sid scored in a matter of 15 seconds!

Commentator1: There is about 10 minutes left. The score's now 5 all. There have been about 3 attempts at a goal by Orange so far as they are pressuring the ball in, and all World players have fallen back for the defense. Joseph joins in, he shoots! Oh it was a miss but what's that? Broken-hub guy swoops in from behind and he scoops the ball in, almost throwing himself into the goalpost whilst at it! It's another goal!? 6-5 to Orange!

Commentator2: That sure was exciting and there's about 6 minutes left. Ben decides to go home, most probably for the missus. The World(tm) grins with glee at the remaining 4 players. Jiahui most surprisingly fall prey to Maxim's "Oooyahhs!!" the most as quite often, he perceptively snatches the ball from her.

...3 minutes later

Commentator2: I think everyone wants to call it quits. The lights are going to be off soon. So it's over?

Commentator1: Yes it is! The final score is 6-5 to Orange! My dog, and to think that they were losing by some margin before!

Commentator2: Yes, Orange fans sure have something to gloat about this evening.

Commentator1: These are your friendly and quite unbiased commentators, out!

Nobody blogs, therefore I do.

After consecutive weeks of being trashed by the trademark color of Sunkist's products (it's orange, for the slow), and consecutive humiliation (9-2 on the 17th May! wow!) by great effort of teamwork, The World(tm) seems to be biting the dust hard. Is the absence of Sid sorely missed? Is the absence of Kee conspicuous? Rumors abound and privvy sources have confirmed unidentified sightings of Kee, that he was around but disappeared prior to the match.

Do we smell kidnapping?

Orange spokesperson denied all allegations and defied accusations that Orange was responsible for the disappearance of Kee.

Said Orange spokesperson, "Nope, we had nothing to do with it. We absolutely did not, I repeat: not, have anything to do with Kee's disappearance. We absolutely did not see him lured away, bagged, clobbered on the head, manhandled into an unmarked black van; plate number GV 2556 S, bound, chloroformed, spat at by 4 orange donning guys who leered at Kee and one of them had a tattoo on his forearm saying 'I ♥ MOMMY'. Nuh-uh, we never saw no such thing. Now scram before I call the police!"

The World(tm) wonders where Kee has been all these time.

-----

The Runway unicycling event too had Kee conspicuously missing, even though his name was on the roster (more information and pictures on Page 3).

We had the presence of Wen, professional amateur, amidst us, a grace we daren't assume.

The event when well, seeing how people chose the 6km route instead of the 15km route.

Joseph, in Jiahui's words, verbatim, is 'hot'! 270 degrees hot, to be exact, as his flamin' yellow t-shirt attests to.

Jolyon was there, and so was his 36" Qu-Ax.

Geoffrey wins the 'So-late, he-might-as-well-not-have-come' award, where he arrives just as we finish unicycling, but we give him credit because he brought an Afro wig. I mean, who doesn't love an Afro?

After we left, or as we were leaving, Jiahui and Wen sneaked off for a rendezvous, as both of them conveniently got lost and cycled in the wrong direction, giving them a whole 1/2 hour to themselves for who-knows-what reasons.

This sums up the news bite on current and not-so-current events. I hope this means someone would pick up the mantle and BLOG FOR GOODNESS SAKE!


This is your raving reporter (wannabe RR), out!

Orange Peel Away a New Layer Video Controversy Undermines Referees And Is Blue the New Orange?

Hello and welcome.

This is Clive Oliver, “Australia’s answer to Anabelle Francis.” I was back in Singapore this week to watch the progress of the local league. The off season continued with many top players on leave. Also new video equipment was being tried out – an experiment keenly watched by the rest of the unicycling world. Due to absentees, only Maxim, Kee, JH, and Reine opened for the World Team. Controversially, Si Yong started late. Allegedly he was also late for a training session in Tuas at the weekend. Although his agent refused to comment, one wonders if the World superstar will be able to cope with his growing fame and status as a media celebrity. Unnamed sources say he was seeing actress Natalie Portman last Saturday. [Ed: -_-;] Will such Hollywood connections affect his play in future hockey matches? We shall wait and see.

Joseph on the other hand, although closely linked to the music industry this week, was on time to play for Orange, as were Kai Lun, Remi, Geoffrey and Ben1. However they were missing their goalie HF, their young star Andrew, and also their top goal scorer, Sean. Rumours abound, that the Orange hardman was serving a voluntary suspension pending an investigation into an alleged foul the previous week. But the Sean Fan Club dismisses this as nonsense. No foul was called on him 7 days ago. Why, they say, should he be suspended now? Surely there is another reason for his absence.



Finally, controversial video footage was tested this week. Supposedly an aid to referees, would it simply undermine their authority? The video would show that one disallowed goal was in fact legal, whereas a “last minute” goal actually occurred after the half time whistle! [Ed: What half time whistle? It was just the crowd going silent. It was in actual fact extra time] Should this evidence be used to update the scoreline? Surely not. The referee’s decision should be final, and must be accepted.



The Game started with an instant goal, as Ben1 with yet another new blade took a long shot. One nil! A great start this for Orange.



A strong team counter attack gave the World a good shot on goal, but just wide. Then it was Orange’s turn. Ben1 swung through midfield and passed wide to Joseph. Joseph, strangely attired in blue, (Blue J?), took it out to the left, and then flicked it back to Ben1 who’d found space in front of the goal. Using an unorthodox one handed push, he guided the ball home. Two nil to Orange. Superb passing from Blue Jay, reminiscent of his great last minute pass to Ben1 last week. Is Blue the new Orange?



Ben1 was having a great time with long shots. Letting rip from just over the half way line, he made it a hat trick! Three Nil to Orange! But no. The goal was disallowed, although the video footage shows him to be well inside the dark half! The fans were outraged, but Ben1 seemed unaware of his position and meekly accepted the result. Only Two nil to Orange. Was the Orange veteran losing his fire? Where was Sean when we needed him?



It was up to Blue Jay to reassert Orange’s dominance. He literally blew (blue?) the World away, beating their defender and striking home. Three nil to Orange! A really great start this for the Golden (and blue) boys!



Remi was having a good day too, often finding space to attack, having a few early shots, and even hitting the crossbar once.



Ben1 weaved pass JH and kee. Riding wide he took a good shot on goal, but this time producing a gut wrenching save from keeper, Raine! (She took it directly on her stomach).



PS You may have noticed I don’t know how to spell Raine! [Ed: Raine is spelt Raine]



But the Darkside stepped up a notch, fighting back to win a corner, but no joy. The ball was cleared to way up field, bouncing back to find Remi near the dark goal. He took a brilliant reverse angle shot and almost scored. The enthralling end to end play continued, with Kee getting a breakaway. One on one with the Orange keeper, he could have scored, but the ball went just wide. Moments later, at the other end, Remi found himself unmarked, but his shot went wide as well. Then he was in action again; the fab Frenchman flicking onto Ben1.Although One on one with keeper, the orange veteran’s shot was saved by Raine. Another breakaway for kee failed to result in a goal. Finally it was Remi who broke the deadlock! A goal for Orange. Four nil! Despite the World’s pressure, the score line was slipping away from them. This poses the question, does the World miss Sid and Darren, more than Orange misses Sean and Hui Fang? Interesting hypertheticals abound!



Without Sean to sprint upfield, Kai Lun decided to break away and have a go but it wasn’t to be. Twice in as many seconds his close range shots were shut out by Raine’s wheel! The World keeper may have started tentatively, but she was really coming into her own now. Without her hard work, the Dark Side would have been very dark indeed.



And then it happened. One of Orange’s (many?) problems has been a loss of focus. And in the closing minutes of the half, their concentration wavered once again. Unfortunately for them, the World Team never seems to sleep, so whilst Ben1 happily explained that he hadn’t really fouled Si Yong, Kee moved through to score! : one for the Dark Side!

Then, seconds later, as the music faded away, the ref allowed one more shot. And the World scored. Maxim to Si yong and Kee. Orange fans were outraged. The Video footage apparently showed that the final whistle had already gone. Nevertheless the goal was allowed. And so the half ended. Orange, who had confidently felt they should be Five Nil up, now found themselves at only Four Two. The Dark Side had finished very strongly indeed!





The Second Half



Maxim was called for a high stick. On the restart Ben1 took another long shot, and got another goal. Five Two to Orange!



But the World came back strongly. A bit hard to see from the camera angle, but I think Kee came from behind the Orange goal to slip one behind the keeper. Five Three! Yet another Kee breakaway narrowly missed the Orange goal. He will surely rue his missed chances, but there was no time to wait. The golden boys piled on the counter attacks. Kai Lun roared behind the Dark goal and flicked back to Ben1. It was a lovely bit of passing which Ben1 confidentally tapped home. Six Three to Orange!!



Undetered, the World fought on. Another Kee breakaway was blocked by Geoffrey and Joseph, but Maxim and Si yong followed up. It was Maxim who knocked it in. Six ; Four. Was the World Team coming back?

Si Yong had a go. But his breakaway move was blocked by the keeper.



A tiring Ben1 found his long shots no longer hitting the mark. Instead he scored a breakaway goal, breaking the World’s momentum. Seven : Four to Orange.



A weary Ben1, showing his age, moved back into defence. But Orange were able to compensate. It fell to KL to launch an attack with Remi. The Frenchman scored! His second today. : Eight Four to Orange!



With only seconds left, the dark ones tried to salvage some pride.



However, their goal was controversially disallowed. Orange claimed the Dark side had taken their free shot prematurely, but was this yet another example of Orange dreaming, while The World attacked screaming?



And so it finished.



The official score at the end remained at Eight Four. But should it have been Nine Five? Or even Eight Five?



Is this the beginning of a new era of dominance for Orange? Or is this the end of the beginning for the World Team? What will happen when both teams are back up to full strength?



Stay tuned! The truth will be revealed in the weeks to come!

-BenI

When Tribes Go To War!!

It was March 15 2006. A day that shall never be forgotten, neither by the World fans nor the Orange army. The two teams clashed in a mighty struggle.



It started with a typically sneaky goal by that old hand, Ben1. Seeing that the World defence wasn’t quite ready, he attacked from the whistle and scored within seconds. Perhaps not as fast as he used to be, Ben1 is nevertheless an experienced player who loves to punish loop holes in opposing teams. One nil to Orange!



But the World came strongly back. Maxim, having an excellent game, had the first of his many break aways onto goal. Racing past Oranges thin defences, he scored the equalizer for the Darkside.



Next it was Seans turn. The Orange star player was super fast today. He tore through to put Orange ahead 2:1



Ben1 was fired up, but broke his new stick on Jeffs wheel. The World comedian, back in action with some hideous scarring on his legs from crash last week, is something of a nemesis for Ben1. He always seems to be able to tackle the Orange veteran.

Ben1 returned with a new stick, but didn’t seem to happy with it and with drew back into defence.



Both teams were light on numbers today. In the first half only Sean, Ben1 and Kai Lun were on the field for Orange, Jolyon and Joseph desparately sidelined with a punctured tyre.

The World were missing Darren, still unable to attend because of a shattered crank. Nevertheless, they had the extra man with 4 players on the field, namely Kee, Maxim, Jeff and Geoffrey. And, ominously for Orange, the legendary Si Yong could also be seen warming up on the side lines. Jolyon and Joseph raced to repair the puncture and boost the Orange team, but it wasn’t to be. They wouldn’t enter until the second half, which was still a long way off.



With Ben1 retreating to the goalie position, brooding over his broken stick, a lot of responsibility fell onto Kai Lun’s mighty shoulders. He rose to the challenge with a great goal! 3:1 to Orange. At last however, Oranges weakness in numbers was felt. With only three players it was very hard defend. The World scored two goals in rapid succession, one of them a brilliant shot from the World playmaker, Kee. It was soon 3:3.



From then on Orange were in trouble, and, as Ben1 fumbled, it was only Sean who kept their hopes alive. Riding, like a man inspired, he repeatedly ripped through the Dark Sides walls. Covering as much ground as an entire team, he raced back and forth, plugging the gaps, and scoring goals to keep Orange in contention.



And goals came aplenty!



Some smooth break aways from a very in-form Maxim, produced a number of goals, but Sean kept on popping them in as well. Eventually Ben1 managed to stay on his unicycle long enough to squeeze one in, beating Geoffrey at the near post. But the situation still looked good for the unstoppable World brigade, as the legendary Si Yong arrived to take up his position. In the interests of fair play, Maxim gallantly stepped down, to ensure that Orange were not too out numbered. (Such sportsmanship should be applauded).

But fortune was still with his team, the first half ending with an extraordinary goal for Kee. The orange keeper blasted the ball up field, but it ricocheted off Kee’s tyre and flew straight back into the net. By such twists of fate are matches won or lost. This bizarre goal put the World ahead 8:7 at half time.



The Second Half. (I didn’t see much of this half. If someone to can fill in the gaps, that would be great!)



And so the teams reconvened. Let battle begin again. Orange were down a goal, but Joseph and Jolyon were back strengthen their ranks.

Sean duly scored first, but then another equipment failure for the Orange team. (They really should talk to their sponsors and mechanics). Now Ben1s bike punctured. By the time he returned the score this half was 3:3, with more goals from Maxim and more goals from Sean.



But overall, (as Orange had conceded more goals in the first half), it was the Dark side who was in the lead! With only seconds remaining, what could orange do to fight back? Cometh the moment, cometh the man. It was Joseph who answered the question brilliantly. With the clock counting down, he slotted in a fabulous pass to the newly arrived Ben1, who duly tapped into the net for a last minute equalizer!



Final result 11:11. A tie!!

Games like this with last minute goals in each half are what make unicycle hockey the most popular sport on one wheel. Tell your children you were there! You saw the blood, the sweat and the tears!


(Quite a lot of blood actually for a no contact sport. Where was the ref?)

-Ben

8 March 2006

And they’re off!!

My word, it’s a great game. Straightaway, within a few seconds, Kee passes to Si Yong, splits open the Orange defence and scores!!

Blinding play! So fast! So accurate! One nil to the World, and less than a minute since the game started. The fans are going wild! The World is turning!!!



Orange is still weakened. Hui Fang and Remi are still signing autographs for their adoring fans and haven’t entered the pitch yet. And starplayer Sean is still flying in, after a last minute meeting with his publicity agent. This is surely the World’s chance to avenge their defeat last week.



Wait a minute! Stop the press! Sean has arrived! Now lets see if Orange can come back. No, obviously not. Kee has just scored for The World! A brilliant bit of teamwork between Si Yong and the move-maker, Mr Kee! It’s 2 nil to the World. Are Orange crashing out?



Oh my! I just thought it was safe to go to the toilet. (Boy, it really stinks in there). Anyway, I heard the crowd going bonkers, screaming and cheering, so I rushed back and found out it’s ….. IT’S TWO ALL!!!!! A goal from Sean, and then one from the Golden boy, Theng Huat!!!!! (Oh man, what a phenomenal season for TH. He’s scoring every game these days!). Well I think we can safely Orange are up to full strength again. I think World Team is going down. They’re going down. They’re going down!!!!!!



Oh.



Wrong again. Amazing long shot from Darren. The World win the first half 3:2.



Second half!!!!



Welcome back. The World Team is playing beautifully… Darren, Si yong and kee upfront, and all of them scoring goals in the first half. Lovely passing, lovely coordinated attacks. Lovely long passes to Darren who keeps finding himself in open spaces near the Orange goal. And wonderful defensive play too, Maxim normally rushing back to provide double goalie duties with joffrey(sic). And now Jeff has arrived to further the Dark side. It’s impossible to see Orange coming back now. They just haven’t got it. Ah well…. I’m leaving early…. Off home to see my wife.



In the MRT looking for my EZ link card. What’s this!?? Confusion.

Excitement?

The station master has just rushed off towards the stadium waving an orange flag. A news crew has just raced past aswell. My word!!!! I think that’s the Prime Minister.. They’re all heading back to the stadium. There’s fire works in the night sky!!!! And a news flash on TV Mobile!!! It can’t be…. But it is! Orange have fought back!!!!!!!



I’m rushing back to pitch.. Pandemonium!!

It seems the World continued brilliantly. Darren scored (again), and consistent team play brought the Dark Ones yet another goal. Yet miraculously, Orange have fought back. Kee says the second half was 5:3 to Orange, so they’ve won 7:6 on aggragate!!! Not quite sure who scored, Ben is claiming a couple a goals, (but then he’s such an old show off, it’s hard to know whether to believe him). Kai Loon may have scored! There’s talk of brilliant defensive play by Remi and Hui Fang… As well as a disasterous unicycle breakdown for Darren.. His crank completely sheering off at high speed.. . AND!! AND! It seems Andrew has scored. The youngest player to ever achieve such glory. Comparisons with Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney seem inevitable, but they were an incredible 15 years older when they scored their first goals!!!!



Well, well, well! 7:6 to Orange. A fabulously close game!! (Ed: In fairness, The World lost Darren and Maxim and ended up playing 4-7, so I wouldn't really say it was that close) Who could ask for anything more? Stay tuned!!