Thursday, June 22, 2006

Q1a. Using appropriate examples, explain the process of the 21/6 uni-hockey session. [10]

The 21/6 hockey session occured with as much bravado and multitude in participants as wtih the 14/6 hockey session. With about 7 to 8 a side, friction was high. Friction is F=μR where F is frictional force, u the coefficient of sliding friction and R is the multitude of people, in situational context. Coefficient is determined by the amount of frictional points, where the higher the number of people, the higher the possibility of people colliding and causing frictional disputes. R, known to some as weight but in this context, as 'strength'.

The positioning of Gideon, who dons not orange but brown yet is on the Orange team can be explained by the simple intersection of the demand and supply curves of Gideon.



Seen above, the supply of Gideon is unitarily inelastic, which is to say, 1. Gideon positioning is determined by the demand of himself by the two teams, and factors which affect his positioning are not solely attributed to demand only, but also but his choice (wise move!). That is to say, if Gideon's choice for Orange falls, that would shift demand curve to the left and the intersection would result him in either limbo (0) or in The World(tm), which we all know don't want to happen.

The process of the 21/6 uni-hockey is unique. A long time ago, when dinosaurs still existed, The World(tm) garnered popularity with its immense strength and powers. The imbalance of victories led The World(tm) to a golden age. However in the recent months, The World(tm) has been on the wrong end of the landslide, and nary a victory has been awarded to them. However, the 21/6 uni-hockey appears to be a turning point, as they hit the trough of the victory cycle and seem almost to be hitting back.



At the earlier point of time, The World(tm) was at their peak with a win-lose ratio of 5:1. However, things took a sudden turn as they hit recession, defined as a prolonged period of losses or stagnation. Soon, they hit the trough as the win-lose ratio took a turn. On the 21/6 uni-hockey event however, they showed signs of picking up, and speculators predict a possible chance for recovery and pick up, after such a long protracted trough.

The 21/6 hockey session was a session of much pain and agony. After a long 10 minutes have passed, neither Orange nor The World(tm) gained an advantaged in terms of scores. While demand for Gideon was high to the effect of his being in Orange, he remains conspicuouly stuck in the defense area.

Meanwhile, while the fierce interaction between Orange and The World(tm) commence, Rémi decides to demonstrate the correct application of CG or center of gravity as he suddenly stands up on his fork. It may be a distraction to make The World(tm) people off their guards, but Jolyon and age huffily protests the lack of backup.

An itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow-and-white striped tennis ball whizzed happily by Huifang's unicycle, demonstrating the perfect relationship between transferance of kinetic energy from player to hockey stick to ball and into the goalpost, marked by the formula:

e= 1/2 mv squared.

The trajectory of the ball was in accordance of the projectile motion, and according to Newton's first law of motion an object (in this study, the tennis ball) will move in a straight line and constant speed in the absence of all forces and owing to gravity and the absence of vigil, the tennis ball exhibited Newton's second law of motion where the acceleration of the ball as produced by a net force is directly proportional to the magnitude of the net force, in the same direction as the net force, and inversely proportional to the mass of the ball or F=ma

In short, The World(tm) scored the first goal.

While The World(tm) celebrates and Siyong would have cartwheeled and somersaulted if he could, I'm sure, complete with pulling his shirt over his head, Orange players Huifang, Kailun and Rémi are taking it in their stride, as Kailun demonstrates the perfect one-foot wheelwalk.

Maxim, Kee, Darren and Siyong are gaining momentum, P=mv, as Yihao, Jiahui, Wen and PinPin (omg yes she came down! A rare sighting indeed! Beat THAT Halley Comet!) laid idle with little threat of Orange ever coming close. 2 20"s on offense really cannot match up to the behemoths of 24" and one 26" as revolutions per minute (rpm) would greatly differ in terms of circumference of the wheel and crank length. Moment would affect too as long-cranked 24"s outstrip the amount of acceleration possible on short-cranked 20"s.

Suddenly, someone from Orange scored! I don't remember who, but the shock of it was such that it only spurred The World(tm) to play harder and furioser. The score's 1:1, and finally the chit-chat has ended. It seems that gossips have run dry. Maybe Orange people run on gossips? But thankfully, Kailun has assumed the offense while Gideon happily resides in the defense. There is 5 more minutes, and Darren, Siyong and Kee attack all at once with Maxim on the rebound in the middle.

Then, chaos ensues as Yihao and Maxim join in the fray and everyone crashes in front of the goalpost while Kee and Siyong are still on. Kee scores a goal and Siyong dryly commented how he should do some cartwheels, preferably while with his shirt over his head.

Jolyon calls for a half time. Age compels him.

The philosophical explanation for age rejects the concept of time, but the explanation of which lies of another paper.

Yihao abuses Xiao Bai, by comitting Xiao Bai against the Orange, against Xiao Bai's wheel.

The second half was a pronounced stalemate for a full 15 minutes. It was only after that that Orange scored their first goal, as a squeezed in goal from an impossible angle evoked a controversial argument whether it went in, to which was closed by Andrew saying "It went in," and the case was closed.

So it was a draw, after so much playing and so much typing.


And in the distance, a discordant "Maiahee! Maiahuuu! Maiahoo! Maiaha!ha!" bleats.... the cacophany travelling at exactly 331.29 metres per second, which is the speed of sound. In air, I mean. In Helium (He) the speed of sound is 965 metres per second, and in Carbon Dioxide (CO2) it is considerably slower, being 259 metres per second. But since the court was filled with air, the music travelled the few metres between the speakers and the players at 331.29 mtres per second.

End.

This was written by an Arts student.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Can we gloat? We sure can!

Following the World Cup fever, with inane and endless soccer anecdotes thrown in randomly into the uni-hockey match, we find ourselves suddenly thronged by as much as 11-a-side per team (ok I lied, not that much, about 6 or 7 but it sure seemed that much). Today the fans cry unfair as one by one, Orange members were carted off the field for various reasons; be it for egotistic demonstrations (are you sure The World(tm) didn't hire those reporters??), or for no reasons whatsoever, or I can't remember what, but Orange did sure have a field day when eventually playing 3 against (gasp!) 7 of The World(tm) players.

Do the fans cry 'Unfair!' ?? They sure do, or should if they didn't.

Can Orange gloat? They sure can, after beating The World(tm) with their lack of numbers. See? It's not how many players you have, it's how well you play.

We interview Orange fans (unnamed, to protect identities) on the first half of the match.

O Fan1: The match was seriously cool. The import of new fresh blood, Gideon, by The World(tm) was a sneaky and underhanded move, because The World(tm) got to him even before Orange had a chance. Give the kid a chance to score man! Put him on the winning team! Put him on Orange!

O Fan2: Ha but numbers don't stop the mighty Oranges. Sneaky as The World(tm) may be, we've convinced Yihao and Joseph that The World(tm) is evillll and their inherent good guy genes shone through, and decided to fight for a worthy cause. See where that lead them to? Victory with a capital 'P'.

(insert blatant hint to newcomer Gideon)

O Fan1: The beginning of the match was quite breath-taking. One of the Orange members was put out of action because of a broken hub. The strange thing is, he has been known not to have been doing any jumping, hopping, mutilation of his unicycle of any kind, yet it was quite a shock when his hub broke.

O Fan2: Ya! Could The World(tm) have something to do with it?

(Meanwhile in the distance The World(tm) fans are sharpening their parangs and machettes.)

O Fan2: The broken hub led him in a desperate search for a replacement unicycle, but none were good enough or even sturdy enough.

O Fan2: Indeed, the 20" could not display his true speed and strength as his unicycle's seat was visibly rocking and loose (Rémi attests to this) and he soon had to give it up, and had to look for another unicycle as the 20" gave up on him.

O Fan1: And while he was distressed, Orange was stressed too. The score was 3-1 already. What will happen of our Orange? We pray fervently.

O Fan2: In the end, he borrowed Jiahui's unicycle, who decided to give up the saddle and try the ultimate wheel instead.

Commentator1: The match seems to be in The World(tm)'s favor so far. With only 4 members, and they all sure look tired, Ben, Joseph, Kailun and Yihao, the strategic positioning of the mass of The World(tm) members Maxim, Darren, Siyong, Jeff, Wen and Gideon and who else? Oh yes Kee, but due to his enigmatic ninjitsu powers (he probably Asked A Ninja) he disappeared before anyone even knew he was there after the match. What was I saying before? Oh yes, the strategic placement of the mass of The World(tm) players effectively prevented Ben and Kailun, lead strikers, from even getting near the goal. Not to mention strategist Maxim with his ever intimidating "Ooyahs!" and "Blearghhhh!@!!11!!" that shocks the Orange players off-guard (Orange fans go "booo!") the score of 3-1 is pretty disappointing for fervent Orange fans.

Commentator2: Right on there. Oh wait, look what's that? Previously out of action player returns! Just before, his hub broke and his used Siyong's unicycle, but to his dismay Siyong arrived and he had to relinquish the stolen good. Then the 20" was problematic and now he's on a unicycle, a 24"! That looks like Jiahui's!

Commentator1: So where is she? Ah she's by the corner with the ultimate wheel.

Commentator2: The match intensifies! The World(tm) has not 3 but 4 forwards! And still have plenty to spare as defenders as Jeff and Wen defend valiantly, but quite unecessarily as no Orange has gotten near yet. Gideon, promising new star, hangs ominously near the Orange goalpost in position for a goal. But what's this? Orange's manpower still remains at 4 as Kailun leaves the field to strike a few poses for the cameramen and reporters. Now where did they come from?

Commentator1: Dunno, dude, but the replacement of a tired out Orange mate with an enraged and quite insane Orange mate has brought morale to a whole new high! Ben is absolutely convinced that they are playing better!

Commentator2: The two work in tandem as they passed back and forth while digging deeper into enemy lines. Strategist Maxim realizes their ploy and seeks to break their formation.

Commentator2: Indeed, Kee falls back while Siyong remains midfield for the rebound, and Ben passes to for an assisted shot and OH!!! It's a slight miss, skimmed the post just by a little.

Commentator1: Orange is on a comeback. It's a goalkick, and the score's still 3-1.

(The reporter is lazy, the score is now 4-1 as a spectacular goal by The World(tm) draws the game to the last 10 minutes.)

Commentator1: At 4 versus 7, this doesn't look good for Orange's prospects. Broken-hub guy seems ready to faint, what with his incessant sprinting and passing to himself from one end of the court to the other. Already, with his arrival, 3 accidents have been noted, all involving him; 2 with Jeff and the last one I can't remember. A foul by Orange trips Kee and there he goes! The ball is passed, quite predicatably to Siyong but Siyong misses the catch!

Commentator2: Broken-hub-guy chases after the ball! The 24" seems to be feeding him vigor. He passes to Ben, predictably, and they're in the enemy's lines! Joseph joins in the fray! He passes to Joseph, Joseph shoots! He misses as it richochets off Jeff's wheel! Broken-hub-guy retrives the stray ball, goes behind the goalpost and shoots from a tight angle! It's a goal! Ladeez and gentlemen, the score's 4-2!

Commentator1: Another 8 minutes. Another 5 minutes. What's this? Joseph leaves the field? That makes Orange at only 3 players???? Against 7 of The World players?

Commentator2: They sure put up a good struggle though. Oh look there's the halftime.

Commentator1: It's halftime! Everyone's almost dead. Orange fans are going wild although still 2 goals behind The World(tm). The World(tm) fans are pleased with their lead.

(We skip to the 2nd half)

Commentator2: The calvary has arrived! Rémi and Huifang sont arrivés and this bolsters morale of Orange. Jiahui rejoins Orange after a frustrating session with the ultimate wheel and scary ramps. Huifang and Rémi make up the couple who stick and the goalposts and talk most of the time until the ball arrives. Kailun, having finished taking pictures with Xiao Bai, monstrous white unicycle joined the ranks of Ben and co.

(more laziness, the score now is 4 all).

Commentator2: The score is tied at 4 all. The World(tm) has made no progress so far since the previous half. Orange on the other hand has score 2 more goals, with the previous goal being a little shall we say, 'tyco' (translates to lucky)?

(Orange fans boo)

Commentator1: It was goodplay though. The ball went behind the goalpost and Jeff the goalkeeper happens to pull the goalpost into the direction that the shot ball was coming and it went in. Could he be mocking at the Orange and giving them a chance?

Commentator2: The World(tm) starts off with a 3-man offensive formation, and with Wen out of the play, a smart strategic move by Broken-hub-guy to have whisked off his unicycle, The World plays at a 1-2-3 formation, strong on offensive.

Commentator1: Orange on the other hand plays a balance spread of 2-2-2, with Ben and broken-hub-guy on offense, Kailun and Joseph on midfield/defense (Yihao's missing, I think, or at least someone is.) and Rémi and Huifang hanging onto the goalpost, having a nice chat. It's so nice to see lovers engrossed in conversation.

Commnetator2: The ball's in Orange's half! A scream for 'defense!' rings out. The defense springs into actions and (we fast forward the action a little, but that was neat passing by Siyong and Kee) .... it's a goal! It's 5-4 now!

Commentator1: Enraged, Ben goes in for the kill and sidestepping Maxim and Siyong, he shoots from afar and it went in! That was pretty fast! About a few minutes, don't you think?

Commentator2: Yes, this reminds me of the legendary goal that post-World player Sid scored in a matter of 15 seconds!

Commentator1: There is about 10 minutes left. The score's now 5 all. There have been about 3 attempts at a goal by Orange so far as they are pressuring the ball in, and all World players have fallen back for the defense. Joseph joins in, he shoots! Oh it was a miss but what's that? Broken-hub guy swoops in from behind and he scoops the ball in, almost throwing himself into the goalpost whilst at it! It's another goal!? 6-5 to Orange!

Commentator2: That sure was exciting and there's about 6 minutes left. Ben decides to go home, most probably for the missus. The World(tm) grins with glee at the remaining 4 players. Jiahui most surprisingly fall prey to Maxim's "Oooyahhs!!" the most as quite often, he perceptively snatches the ball from her.

...3 minutes later

Commentator2: I think everyone wants to call it quits. The lights are going to be off soon. So it's over?

Commentator1: Yes it is! The final score is 6-5 to Orange! My dog, and to think that they were losing by some margin before!

Commentator2: Yes, Orange fans sure have something to gloat about this evening.

Commentator1: These are your friendly and quite unbiased commentators, out!